I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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