i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
