Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
