i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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