i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
