remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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