I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
