Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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