He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
