i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
