Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
