let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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