my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Say something about gay babies.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
MIDGETS
????
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
