So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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