she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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