So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You left your phone here
Wait...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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