I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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