he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
