Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You can't motorboat a personality
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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