I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
