I'll bet she douches with gravy.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
