I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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