He asked me if I "almost moaned"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
When are your genitals available?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
