We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
