break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
handjob tips. give me some.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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