If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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