I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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