is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
