Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
