i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Can I color on your dick again?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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