That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
