you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
