I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
