Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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