That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
