In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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