You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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