he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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