my mouth tastes like poor choices
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
FUCK WHALES
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