he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
