I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
