So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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