im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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