why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
