Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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