Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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