i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
are you so shy because you have an std?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
