All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize