I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
