I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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