Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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