dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
