whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
