She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize