im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His hands were made for my vagina.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
