I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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