What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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