the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
