they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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