OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
