nut hugger
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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